Sometimes democracy doesn’t work. No I’m not talking about the result of the Greek election and the fact that we now need to live yet more ‘will they, won’t they’ as the country wobbles between drachma and euro and the great and good wring their hands about some unspecified apocalypse awaiting us (can anyone really tell me what will happen if the Greeks did default?). No, I’m talking about something much more invidious, sport. Yes, I’m a bloke. And no, I don’t particularly like musicals (OK, ‘Cabaret’ is pretty good, but we’ll let that one go). But I never have had and never will have any interest in sport and football in particular. Yet, I can’t engage in the slightest of interactions with my fellow citizens (buying a pint of milk, for example) without being asked what I thought of the game (what game?) or whether they can ‘do it’ (who do what?). So just stop it, right now. You have been warned – and I’m not alone!